the distance made it easier, in some ways. we couldn’t all afford to fly over, so I never actually saw you after the end. but when mum flew back to us with a box of your things, me and my sisters chose one knit jumper each. green, blue, red. and when I hugged her, both of us crying, for a moment I was holding you instead. it’s been too long, the jumper smells like me now. I stitched up the fraying sleeve hems with bookbinding thread (I figured you’d appreciate the structural integrity, despite it not being a book). I wear it often enough that sometimes I forget. then I remember all over again.